call me a bad person for trying this, but i think it is time to find myself again in the church. i've been gone for a long time and i'm wondering how i'll fit back into things. when i think about returning i get very anxious about it. maybe because the pastor will go on and on about something i don't believe in, or because the music will be so awfully disillusioned that i want to give up on ever seeing any form of music in the church.
a few nights ago i watched a DVD of jes and i leading music in college. wow, did that bring me back. it was a strange combination of disappointment and true gladness. it made me grateful to have grown out of that adolescent view of faith. i'm close to thinking what i did then was a joke. i look at all these college students with their hands raised high and i wonder what that means.
i believe we were all trying to connect with something bigger than ourselves [i.e. god], and maybe that was it. we all seemed so emotional, it was irrelevant to reality. one of the only reasons i believe in any form of music in the church is because they have been doing it for over 1500 years. though i'm still not sure of the point.
many of the modern day lyrics are far from what is real to humanity and everyday life. i feel most at home when a church sings well crafted songs from history or new authentic songs birthed within their community. i'm tired of fluff and i don't think i'm the only one.
all this to say i'm going back into the church. i have an interview at a Presbyterian church this afternoon at 4pm. wish me luck and hope i don't corrupt anybody.
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6 comments:
omg :) how amazing would it be to work with me! because i'm so awesome.
Hey we can do it together. Just not really together because I'm here and you're there. But, I too am returning to the church. I've run out or excuses not to. I've realized that no matter what church I go to it won't be a perfect match, so is life.... Good luck!
It would be interesting to know the extent that your rear-view picture of yourslf and other college students worshipping actually lines up with a great number of over-40 adults' view of that same thing during the time... My hunch is you may now be coming to the view thay had all along but smiled and "let it pass."
Dear Justin,
you write. . .
"i guess it's just that time. i'm going back into the church"
I am glad. Welcome again.
Love,
Russ Gunsalus
justin,
corrie easley here, justin's wife - i stumbled on here, blog hopping and whatnot...
presbyterians are good. it's good to give it a shot. we have enjoyed the PCA church quite a bit.
and apart from that, it was good to raise our hands with you in college. at least we weren't alone in seeking whatever it was we were seeking. community is a good thing.
Justin -
Just wanted to say hi - I was one of those young pups with hands raised that you were leading in song - and I followed your face through the internet, from time to time.
Greetings from Marion (post-IWU Marion). Thanks for sharing diRt.
-athada-
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